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askygoneonfireRegrets, I've got a few. But then again...I've made a bunch of mistakes.
Those are the lyrics to the lesser known original version of that song. Known only, in fact, to those of us currently suffering chest crushing anxiety.
Some predictable and well trodden paths have brought me here but that is not all. It strikes me that the government cutting more than 30% of the funding for the arts has had a bigger impact on my mental wellbeing than I anticipated. Moreover, the impending tuition fee increase seems to have put the final nail in the coffin of my optimism. This country is changing and, in so doing, becoming all the things that precede cultural collapse that every piece of dystopian fiction I've ever read always identifies as the catalyst for the nightmare.
Brighton keeps looming on the edge of my memory like a threat. I feel like life there got so out of my control and that many of the choices I made were the wrong ones. And instead of thinking myself better off out of it I want to go and try my luck again. Whether it is an unwinnable coconut shy or not, I don't know. I suspect it'd be so absolutely my Moby Dick by the time I realised it wouldn't matter anyway.
I'm not even sure I want a good night's sleep. Insomnia makes days pass like a dream and my life at the minute is anything but.
Those are the lyrics to the lesser known original version of that song. Known only, in fact, to those of us currently suffering chest crushing anxiety.
Some predictable and well trodden paths have brought me here but that is not all. It strikes me that the government cutting more than 30% of the funding for the arts has had a bigger impact on my mental wellbeing than I anticipated. Moreover, the impending tuition fee increase seems to have put the final nail in the coffin of my optimism. This country is changing and, in so doing, becoming all the things that precede cultural collapse that every piece of dystopian fiction I've ever read always identifies as the catalyst for the nightmare.
Brighton keeps looming on the edge of my memory like a threat. I feel like life there got so out of my control and that many of the choices I made were the wrong ones. And instead of thinking myself better off out of it I want to go and try my luck again. Whether it is an unwinnable coconut shy or not, I don't know. I suspect it'd be so absolutely my Moby Dick by the time I realised it wouldn't matter anyway.
I'm not even sure I want a good night's sleep. Insomnia makes days pass like a dream and my life at the minute is anything but.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-10-26 02:19 am (UTC)