askygoneonfire | Reading

From this week's

1. What is your favorite experience in your life so far?

Honestly, I don't know how to begin to answer a question like this - how do you determine a "favorite" of anything? Life changes and ebbs and flows. I'd probably have to put relatively small experiences - like standing at the ocean on the island of Maui, or even just at the edge of the Atlantic in Kure Beach.... or how I feel when I'm hiking and make it the top of the mountains. So I guess the answer is...the experiences of witnessing parts of this world that fill me with awe and a reminder of how small we are in this great expanse of a planet and a universe.

2. What motivates you to keep going every day?

Also tough to answer, because I think the occasional darkness that comes and goes in my life has been more present this year. But I do get up in the mornings and do not lay in bed all day. I guess the possibility of each day, and the animals - they always need to go outside or to be fed, and I feel an obligation to keep them well. For all of my missteps and mistakes, I do believe that I am trying to move through the world as best I can, and that each day has that opportunity to do more.

3. Where do you want to go in life? What do you want to accomplish?

*dark laughter* I once thought that I wanted to change things, for the better, for the environment, for people, for animals. I think now I am going through a crisis of feeling powerless at actually being able to do any of that, through either work or activism. I'm on a lifelong quest to learn, though. And maybe I'll also be brave someday.

4. Is there anything that you regret? Do you try to change it?

Scads and scads of regrets, things that, if I could turn back the clock with the understanding I have now, I would have saved myself and others a lot of pain. I also understand that those things helped make me who I am (for better or for worse). I do still try to change my ways of moving through the world to do the least harm, and the most good - that is why I am still in therapy, to try to tease out the parts of me that are fearful or anxious or stuck, and how to move onwards.

5. What is your most cherished gift you have received? Why do you cherish it so much?

About a year before she passed, my mother crocheted me my own afghan, in my favorite greens. It is the dearest thing I own now. Unfortunately one night after she passed it slipped off the bed and next to the rats' housing, and they happily nested off a corner of it. My now MIL helped me to find someone who could fix it, and they ended up removing about 3-4 inches and then re-stitching what was left (I wish that they had been able to truly repair it with the pattern, but I guess they couldn't find the same yarns). So I am also always a little happy and a little sad when I use it, but on days when I feel like I can't go on, it is the closest thing I have to my mother's arms around me.

flexagon

I let it go too long again and now my brain feels overstuffed.

I again was waiting for things to finish, and again they were slow. But: 1) I have a signed P&S on the new rental condo I last mentioned on June 26! That was a long road and I expected to get there on Monday. We do have it though -- just waiting for my deposit to clear -- and 2) I've also submitted my completed Thursday crossword puzzle to the NYT for possible publication. Those were both several-week processes, and I'm breathing a sign of relief over those. I did one more thing of Emotional Resonance and Finishing Up, which one could easily say I'd been putting off for years, by stepping down as admin of a Facebook group that used to be a big deal in my life.

I also had coffee with the seller of this condo; as I suspected he's going to barely break even on this house-flipping endeavor of his, though he says he learned a great deal. It's very clear that he and I will not fight, now that the hard bargaining is over. While I think we have differing politics, we are/were both managers who know how to do both budgeting and paperwork. He will continue to own Unit 1 for a while (he's renting it out for a year), there are a couple of offers on Unit 2 but I don't know whether the prospective buyers plan to occupy or rent out, and I of course will be the not-so-absentee landlady of Unit 3. What I actually kinda like about this: he has an incentive to sell Unit 2 to people who are sensible. And that is good for me, too.

There are other things that happened, including a fascinating afternoon in which a professional dog trainer visited Blue-Green Street and taught the adults how to teach the dogs about things. I've never spoken dog very well, and I was laser-focused on what this guy said about what dogs perceive when people do things. Forget "what is it like to be a bat"; there is enough of the alien in our very own households. So now I have learned what to do with Dog #1 barks anxiously at the window (yelling is really not enough and may even be received positively; there should be verbal reassurance but there there MUST be a PHYSICAL redirect, within seconds). I also know how to take the puppy outside, get her to pee (on leash, now, then allow off leash), how to reinforce her coming to her name, and how to ignore her when she's crated. I will never be a dog person, but I'm around the place enough that minimal competence is already a huge confidence booster. I feel less at the mercy of something I don't understand.

Speaking of that house, btw, all my research into HVAC has paid off. The tenants' central A/C is working again and also has been made more robust, thanks to my research, and all under extended warranty too! It is pleasing. All our tenants need new leases, so that's another thing. It is, in general, hard to keep up with maintenance of things... which is a lot of why I'm a minimalist in the first place, so one could definitely ask why I seem to be collecting houses. (I think there's a coherent answer, but not one I can articulate quickly today, and three is definitely going to be enough.)

I've been quite social this week, but most of it was 1:1. Now I'm invited to a larger game event I feel some trepidation about, but I'm sure it will be fine. Off to work out a bit and then go. I didn't get around to discussing the larger shift I hope I'm going through, from large-ish projects to less of that but more daily discipline; so that can wait, maybe for a post that's more about workouts.

nanila

[LiveJournal Achievement banner: 24 years of blogging]

A number of milestones have passed in recent weeks, including the above. With the exception of a few weeks here and there, I have been blogging continuously in the same journal for 24 years. Most of the rest of the world has moved on to various socials, none of which I have been able to find fulfilling. I deleted all the associated apps off my phone in January and I don't miss them. This community of stalwarts, on the other hand, I cherish, especially as we all navigate middle and old age together.

The other other important anniversaries:

Five years of being an academic and three years since being promoted and taken off probation. I have one more rung up the ladder to climb.
Thirteen years since moving into this house. This is the longest I've ever lived in one place. I was never going to do so unless I had kids. My childhood was so disrupted by repeated moves, I was determined for my children to have as much stability as possible.
Twenty-one years since moving to the UK. I thought I was only going to be here for a year and a half, maybe two. Lol. I've now spent far more of my adult life in this country than the one I was born in.

james

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anais_pf posting in

thefridayfive

This week's questions were suggested by

aforkintheroad.

1. What is your favorite experience in your life so far?

2. What motivates you to keep going every day?

3. Where do you want to go in life? What do you want to accomplish?

4. Is there anything that you regret? Do you try to change it?

5. What is your most cherished gift you have received? Why do you cherish it so much?

Copy and paste to your own journal, then reply to this post with a link to your answers. If your journal is private or friends-only, you can post your full answers in the comments below.

If you'd like to suggest questions for a future Friday Five, then do so on DreamWidth or LiveJournal. Old sets that were used have been deleted, so we encourage you to suggest some more!

james

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ludy

Oooo there’s a bunch of the 1980’s Joan Hickson Miss Marple’s on iPlayer - (re)watching them is happy-making (even though it’s sometimes giving me, intense but mundane, little flashbulb-type memories of watching them the first time round as a child/teen)

(They are SO much better than the 2000’s Geraldine McEwan/Julia McKenzie adaptations (nothing against those awesome actors but the adaptations are just not-great))

Current Mood: nostalgic

james

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forestofglory

As the title says I've actually read some of the pile of graphic novels that I got from the library! Things have been busy and I've been sick so progress has still been slow.

The Worst Ronin by Maggie Tokuda-Hall, Faith Schaffer — A graphic novel about a teen girl who wants to be a samurai and an older jaded ronin. The tech level is handwavy feudal Japan but with cell phones, which I found distracting. I didn’t think the cell phones added enough to the book to be worth it. Content note: gore, grief and dying

Anzu and the Realm of Darkness by Mai K. Nguyen and Diana Tsai Santos— Graphic novel about a Japanese American girl named Anzu who has just moved to a new town and get accidentally swept into the underworld. I thought it was pushing a little hard on we can solve systematic problems like bullying with individual choices but it was mostly sweet. I liked the kind of cartoony art style and all the different mystical critters.

Dragon of the Lost Sea by Laurence Yep —I read this Chinese mythology inspired MG fantasy novel to the kid at bed time. I had read these books myself as a kid and I was a little worried that they wouldn’t hold up, but the suck fairy has not gotten them! It’s maybe a little weird that the dragons all have wings. Chinese inspired stuff written in English these days tends to be very strict about not mixing in more western elements like that but actually the mixing is fun. Anyways this is a fun adventure story with lots of characters with big personalities.

Navigating With You by Jeremy Whitley,Casio Ribeiro, and Nikki Fox —A graphic novel about two girls who are both new at their high school. They decide to go on a quest to find all 7 volumes of an out of print manga they both never finished reading. I loved this! Both girls are charming and quirky in a geeky way, the manga story within the story was lovely. One of them does have a dead mom, something I generally avoid but by the time that was revealed I was hooked. It was super fun and charming!

Himawari House by Harmony Becker —A graphic novel about three young women from different places who move to Japan and end up living in the same house. It's a very slice of life with lots of food and friendship but also some sad moments. The author has a heartfelt note at the end explaining that she wrote on the accents because she wants to destigmatise having an accent. I have mixed feelings about it though because I find written accents way harder to parse than spoken accents.

anais_pf posting in

thefridayfive

This week's questions were suggested by

sparklesalad.

1. What is one food (or meal) you used to hate but now love?

2. If you had to give up one of your favorite foods (or meals) for good, what would it be, and why?

3. Which food seems like it should be healthy and isn't, and do you eat it? Why?

4. If you were an item of food, personified, what would you be and why?

5. You've seen tomatoes and pies used for this purpose ... now think of a more inventive item of food one could throw at someone. What is it and why would throwing it at someone be hilarious?

Copy and paste to your own journal, then reply to this post with a link to your answers. If your journal is private or friends-only, you can post your full answers in the comments below.

If you'd like to suggest questions for a future Friday Five, then do so on DreamWidth or LiveJournal. Old sets that were used have been deleted, so we encourage you to suggest some more!

james

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james

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ludy

Specifically the Douz episode of Cabin Pressure

[mouseover text:We should have you at the gate in just under two hours--two and a half if we get pulled over.]

Current Mood: silly

james

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james

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ofearthandstars

Yesterday we finished the meal planning and grocery shopping, shared lunch, and then decided to try to venture out for a trail because the temperature and humidity drops currently feel quite magical. We discovered a new county trail park less than 10 miles away, which goes by the name "Beech Bluff", which is an homage to the number of beech trees in its general vicinity but also tends to overhype what is generally a not-that-tall hill overlooking Middle Creek. That said, I'm happy to see the place - it was born of an old 300-acre farmstead that has been preserved, with a community garden, orchard, playgrounds for little ones, and both ADA-compliant (boardwalk, pea gravel over asphalt) and natural (mostly red clay) trails. None of the trails are very long - only about 0.5 mile each, so I think the total mileage is something like 2.6 - and they involve a main trail out to the "bluff" with an overlook and several loops that traverse around meadows and through woodland. The park only opened in March, so everything still looks immaculate. Dogs are welcomed on leashes, and there's plenty of parking and shelters, including a field for kite-flying. (I'll add that this park is over the county line in Willow Spring(s), so the funding comes from Wake County bonds. I adore the ideas behind it, though.)

While there, we came across a stump utterly colonized by various species of shelf mushrooms, which made me happy. (Also I think it might have some reishi, but I am not 100% sure and I didn't pause to examine longer because we had the dog with us.)

It's nice to know we have another relatively close option for trails. On the northern end the wooded trails are far enough from other development that you can feel away from people, though towards the entrance the park does abut neighborhoods and so we encountered a homeowner enthusiastically mowing (unseen) through the trees. One of the nicer surprises, however, was following a natural trail into a wildflower meadow absolutely swarming with happy dragonflies.

After we got home, I was overcome with exhaustion, and so while I intended to read I ended up napping for a bit. I have started a few different books, including Catton's Birnam Wood, Gay's The Book of Delights, and Annie Martin's The Magical World of Moss Gardening (the latter I have had two different versions for a long time for reference, but am trying to finally sit down and read through more thoroughly).

ludy

In the BeforeTimes people would frequent make a screened comment post after BiCon for people to tell them anything or ask questions (and to have the awkward conversations to match people to usernames - which is sadly less of an issue these days unless we can collectively coax a whole load of new people over here).

You do not have to have been at BiCon to play.

So if there is anything that you would like to tell me or ask me or whatever here is a space for it. Comments are screened and will stay screened (DW works more sensibly than LJ did so the journal-owner can reply to screened comments with only them and the commenter being able to see the exchange)
You can be anonymous if you really want but then you’ll never see your comment again (because it’ll be screened) and the only ways I’ll be able to reply that you can see are if I unscreen my reply here or address it in another post…

Current Mood: curious

flexagon

1. PEAK RIPENESS
What’s something that is feeling purely delicious, ripe, messy, and juicy?

My entire extended family-ish situation. I am so happy with it, and there are lots of combinations of humans that can all be fun. The polycule is so great, Birdie being here is awesome and provides all kinds of ideas. Even the 'rents are being pretty okay right now.

2. COMING IN HOT
Your phone overheating. Being told to “simmer down.” How are outside forces communicating that you need to cool off?

I pulled a muscle or something while in contortion class on Thursday, and then I was trying to be super gentle today when I did the same thing again. Weird snapping feeling, no real pain, but some stiffness and soreness afterward. Whatever's happening in there, it's too sudden to be a good thing.

3. HOT HUES
Sun-bleached turquoise. Overripe watermelon. Green grass after a thunderstorm. Roadside wildflowers. Summer makes everything brighter: What color are you craving more of right now?

I don't know that I've ever craved a color!

4. PLUNGE
What’s the last thing you said yes to without hesitation?

Tiny Person's upcoming press handstand miniseries.

5. FEVER DREAM
Admit one thing you probably shouldn’t do, but lowkey want to?

Attend Somergloom alone and in a very altered state, with no preview or research. (What I actually am doing is making a playlist based on all the artists, to see if I like them)

6. BEACH SUB
Summer hunger hits differently. What’s your go-to simple, satisfying, hot weather meal?

Chickpea salad on a bagel, maybe.

7. MELTDOWN
When was the last time you totally lost it?

2021 when I suddenly could not, could not, go back to work as planned after a day or two off.

8. BURNING YOUR TONGUE
Texting your ex. A hot take. Unsolicited advice. When was the last time you took a sip too soon (metaphorically speaking)?

I heard that someone had basically lost their group in a coup at Zillian (and cried in the associated meeting), and reached out to that person before thinking to actually let them save face by asking how they were doing. The person was quite adamant that they'd chosen the new direction (though from what options, I can't say) and were simply emotional about the transition. OK OK, fine...

nanila

What is something you collect? Why?

Space mission badges, patches, and stickers, from the ones that I've worked on. They always look so good. I never stick them on anything, though. I just hoard them in little stashes like a greedy dragon. Occasionally I'll put one of the pin badges on my suit lapel.
If you could make one ice cream flavor, what would the ingredients be and what would be the name?

I don't feel the need to invent a flavour when mint chocolate chip is already my all-time favourite.
What can't you go a day without?

I mean, I *can* go without it and I have before, but it isn't pleasant: Coffee.
What position do you sleep in? *back, right side, left side, stomach . . . etc.*

Curled up on my right side in a defensive ball.
What is your typical morning routine before work/school?

Get up, feed cats, empty dishwasher, make breakfast, make coffee, fill everyone's water bottles, pack snacks and lunches, lay out clothes and shoes for the kids, get dressed myself, pack rucksack, sneak in 15 minutes of work or email before shovelling everyone into the car.

I have left out showers, shouting about putting shoes on, and scrubbing toothpaste off school jumpers, but those things usually feature somewhere in there too.

ofearthandstars

From this week's

thefridayfive:

What is something you collect? Why?
I am not a big collector of things, I prefer simpler spaces and find too much clutter overstimulating. That said, whenever we go on a trip, we often pick up a piece of artwork or pottery as a souvenir. I do appreciate this because I can look at a particular piece and recall the memories of the trip that we found it on, and they are associated with good things.
If you could make one ice cream flavor, what would the ingredients be and what would be the name?
A vegan rocky road ice cream, made without any coconut milk/oils/derivatives (so probably cashew-based). I'd call it "Unicorn Flavor" because such a thing is impossible to find - nearly all vegan ice cream has some form of coconut to make it creamy, which is why I haven't had any in about two years. (We did find one brand that was coconut-free but it was also "diet" and more like eating shaved ice, so a crime against nature, basically.)
What can't you go a day without?
Coffee.
What position do you sleep in? *back, right side, left side, stomach . . . etc.*
I flop from side-to-side all night like a slowly roasting eggplant. On my left side, my hip determines the length of the position. On my right side, my shoulder/neck determines the duration until the next flop. Aging is SO delightful!
What is your typical morning routine before work/school?
Coffee while quickly perusing whether the world is still in flames. I have had better morning routines with fancy things like morning pages or meditation and/or yoga, but none of those have remained a long-term habit. I think in part, because my youngest is usually home fresh off night shift, and now L. is also home for the summer, and the energy in the space is not conducive to those sorts of centering/self-reflective habits unless I get up REALLY early (before either of them are up/home), and I am not a morning person by nature.

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A guest from the past

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