askygoneonfire: Red and orange sunset over Hove (Default)

Wanted to write an entry about life, love and queer rage but somehow I can only find the word when the computer is turned off and I am reading/watching a film/sewing. It's as though I have to unfocus my mind in order to bring anything to coherent realisation and the moment I try to pin it down it slips away.

Suffice to say then, I feel hopeless and trapped but endeavour, every day, to try and lift that feeling through action. As the core reality of my situation never changes though, that is ultimately futile. Right now, on a Saturday night, I am worrying about work and my self-perceived feelings of failure in my role. I am single handedly responsible for administering the payroll for more than 200 people. That means deducting 9 kinds of pension payments, 8 kinds of union payments, childcare, student loans, National Insurance, PAYE and health insurance from people's pay - some of it is automatically calculated, some of it isn't, and the bits where it goes wrong, or I inherit it as being wrong from other payroll providers is all down to me to manually figure out. All that responsibility, a terrible wage and hundreds more small but 'vital' jobs to do? Add that to no formal training WHATSOEVER in the role I have been 'succesfully' fulfilling for the last year and you get a pissed off, overwhelmed and worn down Lizzie.


I got a cat, I called him Vincent. After Vincent Van Gogh who is my most recent love affair. He's proving to be, like all cats, very much his own person and we have moments of oneness and moments of exasperation. I hope to let him out of the house for the first time tomorrow and will be trying the age old tactic of buttering his paws so he comes home.

I'll leave you with photos. Because I've nothing else to give tonight, much as I strain to find it.


He has black paw pads - I've never known a cat with all black paws so this makes me think he's pretty special.


Aug. 7th, 2011 10:15 pm
askygoneonfire: Red and orange sunset over Hove (Default)
Got back from my whirlwind tour of the Balkans yesterday, took in an astonishing 5 countries and fell thoroughly in love with Bosnia Herzegovina. 

It was a superb trip and worth every penny - although my bank balance is looking rather sad now - from doing the hokey cokey on the Montenegrin/Croatian border to skinny dipping in Dubrovnik at midnight it was basically the perfect trip.  Hopefully the person I know from work who I travelled with thinks so too and I didn't annoy him too much!!!

There are lots of photos on facebook already if I know you on there, there will be a proper post about it later but for now its time for a gratuitous, narcissistic picture post!  My new favourite picture of me, taken in an incredibly ornate Cathedral in Northern Croatia;

askygoneonfire: Red and orange sunset over Hove (Default)
This afternoon I've been communing with the rats a bit and investigating their music tastes. Apparently the Manics are a hit with their particular favourite thus far being the cover, Take the Skinheads Bowling. Later I was playing Five Leaves Left and apparently Nico is a big Nick Drake fan as he came to sit as close as possible to me and the speakers and sat there struggling to stay awake as Mr. Drake's folk styling's lulled him to sleep.

In the interest of simple motivations I bring you cuteness, in picture form. It basically illustrates what I was saying the other day about them mocking my insomnia with their absolute commitment to bed-based comfort. Reux is the one at the front in both cases with Nico just behind him. Click either picture to embiggen.

I purchased some rat supplies this afternoon from the Pets at Home website, whilst browsing for a few more items to add to my basket in order to get free delivery I came across two items which made me laugh and exclaim 'wtf?!', respectively;

Goats [Book] (just read the description/synopsis)

Grooming Wipes (WHY?!)

Tuesday will be my first Queer Theory reading list blog post. Are ya excited?! I actually am...
askygoneonfire: Red and orange sunset over Hove (Default)

Now that the snow and ice has finally melted I can actually bring myself to look at the pictures I took. Really there's only one good one, and that's why I'm posting it. Colours are true to life, it was that weird morning light where things are a little pink. It was probably the only time during the snow-of-death I actually looked at the snow and thought it beautiful (as opposed to OH MY GOD WHY WON'T IT MELT, I WANT MY LIFE AND TRANSPORT BACK!)

In other news, life isn't too shabby right now and although I'm still not enjoying my job things are shaping up nicely in other areas. This includes the blossoming relationship I am forging with the rats. Nico is emerging as the brave explorer whilst Reux patiently waits for Nico to return to their hiding spot and tell him what exists beyond the confines of the cage. I took them both downstairs the other day where they had a proper introduction to my flatmate. Some of my friends have already asked to be top of the rat-sitting list when I go on holiday, in fact two friends are so keen to look after them they suggested I go on holiday next week.


askygoneonfire: Red and orange sunset over Hove (Default)
a sky gone on fire

August 2017

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