5/52 - More of Less
Feb. 2nd, 2020 09:24 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
askygoneonfireI'm not one for signs. In fact, the only time I begin to 'see' signs in things usually corresponds with me getting a bit mental. So I try to regard them with scepticism.
Ultimately, I think we see the signs we are looking for - confirmation of the course of action we want to take but can't quite justify or rationalise it yet. I am never short on signs when I'm in Brighton. It's part of why Brighton is my place - and I suppose it's also how I prove to myself that Brighton is my place.
I had 24 hours in Brighton this weekend. Seeing friends, telling them of my new 6 month plan. Soaking in the air and weaving through the back roads to avoid the payday shopping crowds. Being home.
As I walked to the station this afternoon I took time in the underpass to review the new art and posters. This was the one that reassured me today;
This is where i'm at.
I wanted more of more when I was in Brighton - more space, more money, more time, more security.
And in Southampton I've got that. But it turns out those things come at a cost that's too high.
So if I have to pick? I choose less.
My 6 month plan is to review my employment and either move fully back to Brighton and look at alternative careers, or move forward on trying to buy a flat close to (but not in) Brighton and pick up a long commute again.
It will be less, in lots of ways; less time, less money, less flexibility, and perhaps a good deal less security. But it will be more. There is more I get from the less. I see that now, and I have a certainty I didn't have before about how to order my priorities.
My Brighton people seemed genuinely delighted to hear I plan to come home. That made me feel exceptional.
Ultimately, I think we see the signs we are looking for - confirmation of the course of action we want to take but can't quite justify or rationalise it yet. I am never short on signs when I'm in Brighton. It's part of why Brighton is my place - and I suppose it's also how I prove to myself that Brighton is my place.
I had 24 hours in Brighton this weekend. Seeing friends, telling them of my new 6 month plan. Soaking in the air and weaving through the back roads to avoid the payday shopping crowds. Being home.
As I walked to the station this afternoon I took time in the underpass to review the new art and posters. This was the one that reassured me today;
This is where i'm at.
I wanted more of more when I was in Brighton - more space, more money, more time, more security.
And in Southampton I've got that. But it turns out those things come at a cost that's too high.
So if I have to pick? I choose less.
My 6 month plan is to review my employment and either move fully back to Brighton and look at alternative careers, or move forward on trying to buy a flat close to (but not in) Brighton and pick up a long commute again.
It will be less, in lots of ways; less time, less money, less flexibility, and perhaps a good deal less security. But it will be more. There is more I get from the less. I see that now, and I have a certainty I didn't have before about how to order my priorities.
My Brighton people seemed genuinely delighted to hear I plan to come home. That made me feel exceptional.
(no subject)
Date: 2020-02-02 10:49 pm (UTC)The price of permanence in some professions is just too high.
(no subject)
Date: 2020-02-03 07:28 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2020-02-03 08:38 pm (UTC)(And Yay! Greater Brighton)
Hope you can find a way to make this happen swiftly and smoothly