Moments of Revelation
Nov. 11th, 2009 09:55 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
askygoneonfireIt feels a little like cheating to post a NaBloPoMo post which is predominately pictures, but if I'm the one blogging then I should be the one making the rules.
This is my most recent painting. I painted it the afternoon of the day Dangerous died so I think I will always end up associated with that and I perhaps won't ever like it. Like many of my paintings it ended up in a completely different place than it both started and I intended it to end up. In some ways I think that reflects exactly the way creativity functions - it can respond to prompts, it can be forced but ultimately, it is its own master.
Having the capacity to channel and direct creativity is, I suppose, the difference between artists and the rest of us. Being able to sit down to produce something which is exactly the production I envision when I first sit down to express my inspiration is The Dream.
I have much the same relationship with writing as I do painting - I sit down convinced the moment my fingers hit the keys perfectly chosen words will pour from me forming profound sentences and life changing paragraphs. I fantasise about subjects I adore being perfectly expressed and my passion oozing from the screen, fascinating all who read.
Unfortunately, my usual production is merely average. Frequently my sentences stumble, often the rhythm is all wrong. Do I ever like the end result? Rarely. Is it ever what I envisioned? Even less often.
So why continue? Why continue painting, why continue blogging? In the hope of a moment of revelation. In the hope that once or twice it comes together just right and is received better than you could have ever anticipated. The only gesture I have towards this is the odd painting I do which my friends adore, or a blog post which is inundated with comments.
Is this one of those occasions? I doubt it.
Having the capacity to channel and direct creativity is, I suppose, the difference between artists and the rest of us. Being able to sit down to produce something which is exactly the production I envision when I first sit down to express my inspiration is The Dream.
I have much the same relationship with writing as I do painting - I sit down convinced the moment my fingers hit the keys perfectly chosen words will pour from me forming profound sentences and life changing paragraphs. I fantasise about subjects I adore being perfectly expressed and my passion oozing from the screen, fascinating all who read.
Unfortunately, my usual production is merely average. Frequently my sentences stumble, often the rhythm is all wrong. Do I ever like the end result? Rarely. Is it ever what I envisioned? Even less often.
So why continue? Why continue painting, why continue blogging? In the hope of a moment of revelation. In the hope that once or twice it comes together just right and is received better than you could have ever anticipated. The only gesture I have towards this is the odd painting I do which my friends adore, or a blog post which is inundated with comments.
Is this one of those occasions? I doubt it.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-11-12 07:03 pm (UTC)Also - I've said this before, but I think you've got a great (writing) style. If I was half as eloquent as you I'd be a happy man (still overworked and underpaid, but yeah).
If you don't feel capable of just sitting and typing "profound sentences and life changing paragraphs", Don't stop trying. One of my uni friends' had/has the email address "seekperfection@somethingorother.com", she said, to remind her to keep trying.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-11-12 07:13 pm (UTC)And thank you.