Wow- thank you. My thoughts exactly. I was only diagnosed a few days ago and the overwhelming response so far has been a mixture of "well isn't it great that you now know!" and "well that doesn't sound so bad, so long as you manage it." (the latter inevitably crops up after person x or y has googled 'cyclothymia' and come across the articles you mention).
I'm honestly finding the common (defensive?) take on this disorder galling. I mean, in response to the first idea ('hey, now you know!')-- what I now 'know' is that having children is an enormous gamble, for me and for them, and that some psychologists just ask you not to breed (isn't 'genetic counselling' a delightful euphemism?). I now 'know' that this is likely to be a 'lifelong friend', when I'd previously just thought I had an anxiety disorder that I could overcome if I applied myself. I now 'know' that it could transition into full-blown bipolar disorder if I don't learn to contain it. Gee, how comforting!
I'm also struggling with the second idea ('well that's okay, so long as you manage it')-- I mean you get diagnosed when you AREN'T managing it, right? I've metaphorically been on my knees for over a month (this is the worst episode in a while) and I now have to learn how to function. I don't think it's at all apparent to people what it means for you life to be so heavy that lifting yourself up (and learning to 'manage') gives you the distinct impression that you're going to throw your back out in the process.
Anyway, thank you for your post. I share your frustration and I'm really grateful to have found your blog today.
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regna
It ain't a big deal
Date: 2011-02-04 04:52 am (UTC)I'm honestly finding the common (defensive?) take on this disorder galling. I mean, in response to the first idea ('hey, now you know!')-- what I now 'know' is that having children is an enormous gamble, for me and for them, and that some psychologists just ask you not to breed (isn't 'genetic counselling' a delightful euphemism?). I now 'know' that this is likely to be a 'lifelong friend', when I'd previously just thought I had an anxiety disorder that I could overcome if I applied myself. I now 'know' that it could transition into full-blown bipolar disorder if I don't learn to contain it. Gee, how comforting!
I'm also struggling with the second idea ('well that's okay, so long as you manage it')-- I mean you get diagnosed when you AREN'T managing it, right? I've metaphorically been on my knees for over a month (this is the worst episode in a while) and I now have to learn how to function. I don't think it's at all apparent to people what it means for you life to be so heavy that lifting yourself up (and learning to 'manage') gives you the distinct impression that you're going to throw your back out in the process.
Anyway, thank you for your post. I share your frustration and I'm really grateful to have found your blog today.