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Nightmares and text messages
Dec. 8th, 2009 12:43 pmI had a nightmare last night. Except it wasn't a nightmare in the normal way.
I dreamt I was at my parent house, except it wasn't their house. It was the house I was living in with Ali and her girlfriend. They had [what is in reality] my room and I was in the smaller room next door. Ali was at work, the girlfriend was in the shower but the door to their room was ajar, so I ran in and grabbed the handwritten letter from Ali which was resting on the pillow on the bed. I hid it inside my pillow case and went downstairs - I didn't want them to know I had stolen it. In the dream I knew reading the letter would be a bad idea because it would just make me angry/sad that she was saying the things she used to say to me to the girlfriend.
In that non-linear way dreams have, I was next, and quite logically, in the room with the girlfriend and she was sitting quite calmly as I was ripping out chunks of her hair. I was calling her all the names under the sun and telling her how ugly her hair was and that was why I was pulling it out. No matter what I did she didn't appear to have any pain and she didn't get angry. Her failure to respond just prompted me to get angrier and angrier; ripping larger and larger chunks out of her hair. Ali walked in and looked casually at me. She took in the scene, shrugged and carried on with what she was doing.
The anger, the hurt, the pure unadulterated rage, my own impotence to alter what was around me despite phenomenal attempts to elicit change and/or a response; that' s what made this a nightmare and woke me up in fear and upset.
What caused this nightmare? A text message; And what was my first response to this text message? Recollection of another text she sent me back in September; This 'bit more' is also known as the money she owes me.
I dreamt I was at my parent house, except it wasn't their house. It was the house I was living in with Ali and her girlfriend. They had [what is in reality] my room and I was in the smaller room next door. Ali was at work, the girlfriend was in the shower but the door to their room was ajar, so I ran in and grabbed the handwritten letter from Ali which was resting on the pillow on the bed. I hid it inside my pillow case and went downstairs - I didn't want them to know I had stolen it. In the dream I knew reading the letter would be a bad idea because it would just make me angry/sad that she was saying the things she used to say to me to the girlfriend.
In that non-linear way dreams have, I was next, and quite logically, in the room with the girlfriend and she was sitting quite calmly as I was ripping out chunks of her hair. I was calling her all the names under the sun and telling her how ugly her hair was and that was why I was pulling it out. No matter what I did she didn't appear to have any pain and she didn't get angry. Her failure to respond just prompted me to get angrier and angrier; ripping larger and larger chunks out of her hair. Ali walked in and looked casually at me. She took in the scene, shrugged and carried on with what she was doing.
The anger, the hurt, the pure unadulterated rage, my own impotence to alter what was around me despite phenomenal attempts to elicit change and/or a response; that' s what made this a nightmare and woke me up in fear and upset.
What caused this nightmare? A text message;
"Hi lizzie, sorry to disturb you. Just wanted to let you know I have *finally* had a letter from the deposit scheme to say all sorted and clear....I hope you're ok. Ali"
" I am due 2 move + when i do will giv u bit more from deposit "
