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I just don't know what to do with myself
Nov. 22nd, 2009 07:50 pmI am so afraid of missing things. I live in terror of not having the time or capability to do all the things I want to.
I want to go to Cuba, before the Castro's die and communism collapses. I want to go to New York and see the Empire State Building. I want to drive across America. I want to go on an Arctic cruise. I want to learn to snowboard. I want to go back to New Zealand. I want to go back to Brazil and go to the Amazon. I want to go interrailing through the bits of Western Europe I haven't been to and go on to Eastern Europe. I want to go to Russia - St. Petersburg in particular. I want to see the Northern Lights.
PhD. Publish a paper. Read a lot more books. Have a library. Own a house. Tend my very own garden outside said house. Get a cat. And maybe a dog.
( This gets a little repetative )
I need to have some certainties, I need for at least one of the things in that list at the beginning of the entry to be in hand, to be guaranteed. I need to be able to sit down at night and say "yes, there's a lot of things wrong, there are a lot things up in the air, but this? See this, right here, this is sorted. Everything else can go to hell because I've got this one thing, and it's sure, it's sorted, it's permanent."
I'm impatient.
I want to go to Cuba, before the Castro's die and communism collapses. I want to go to New York and see the Empire State Building. I want to drive across America. I want to go on an Arctic cruise. I want to learn to snowboard. I want to go back to New Zealand. I want to go back to Brazil and go to the Amazon. I want to go interrailing through the bits of Western Europe I haven't been to and go on to Eastern Europe. I want to go to Russia - St. Petersburg in particular. I want to see the Northern Lights.
PhD. Publish a paper. Read a lot more books. Have a library. Own a house. Tend my very own garden outside said house. Get a cat. And maybe a dog.
( This gets a little repetative )
I need to have some certainties, I need for at least one of the things in that list at the beginning of the entry to be in hand, to be guaranteed. I need to be able to sit down at night and say "yes, there's a lot of things wrong, there are a lot things up in the air, but this? See this, right here, this is sorted. Everything else can go to hell because I've got this one thing, and it's sure, it's sorted, it's permanent."
I'm impatient.
