Working to death.
Jan. 29th, 2019 02:20 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
askygoneonfire I have been working flat out for 4 years.
I have been working, absolutely without cease, and always with a terror of financial ruin, and with the urgency of getting into a post before my research becomes outdated, for four years.
I have had jobs at 3 universities, and a job outside the academy for extra cash whilst continuing to work three roles in two universities, in the last 4 years.
I have submitted a thesis, passed a viva, published three articles, secured a book contract, co-authored another article currently at peer review, run from inception to completion two research projects, written a proposal for a new research project, in the last three years.
I have taught on 10 different modules at three different universities in the last three years.
I have willingly taken on a financially ruinous commute that eats at least 3 hours, typically 4 hours, of my day for the last two years.
I have submitted three job applications (min 6,000 words each) in the last month. I have marked 50 essays and have another 15 to go, and a batch of moderating) and spent 13 hours classroom teaching (not including prep and admin), more than 8 hours in tutorials, 5 hours in staff meetings, written one call for papers and one reference, in the last two weeks
I have worked every single day for the last 18 days. I will continue to work for at least the four days at which point I will take one day off and then go back into another ceaseless stretch.
I feel wretched all the time. I cry every single night. I have terrible dreams. I feel utterly, utterly overwhelmed. And I know I am still not doing enough.
I have been working, absolutely without cease, and always with a terror of financial ruin, and with the urgency of getting into a post before my research becomes outdated, for four years.
I have had jobs at 3 universities, and a job outside the academy for extra cash whilst continuing to work three roles in two universities, in the last 4 years.
I have submitted a thesis, passed a viva, published three articles, secured a book contract, co-authored another article currently at peer review, run from inception to completion two research projects, written a proposal for a new research project, in the last three years.
I have taught on 10 different modules at three different universities in the last three years.
I have willingly taken on a financially ruinous commute that eats at least 3 hours, typically 4 hours, of my day for the last two years.
I have submitted three job applications (min 6,000 words each) in the last month. I have marked 50 essays and have another 15 to go, and a batch of moderating) and spent 13 hours classroom teaching (not including prep and admin), more than 8 hours in tutorials, 5 hours in staff meetings, written one call for papers and one reference, in the last two weeks
I have worked every single day for the last 18 days. I will continue to work for at least the four days at which point I will take one day off and then go back into another ceaseless stretch.
I feel wretched all the time. I cry every single night. I have terrible dreams. I feel utterly, utterly overwhelmed. And I know I am still not doing enough.